Thursday, February 7, 2013

On Being Judgemental

Sometimes I wonder if I am too judgemental. I mean, we all judge others to an extent right? Today I found myself judging a co-worker. This is actually a guy that I was interested in. I have always found him to be attractive and lately I have noticed that he was been striking up conversations with me more and more. 

We were talking on break and I was asking him about his hours. At my work part timers are guaranteed 25 hours only. You could have anywhere from 25 to 40 hours, but the minimum that you can count on in 25. Luckily in my department, most of the part timers work almost 40 hours a week. And most of the time, even if you are scheduled for less, you can count on getting called in early or asked to stay late, so it always works out to be more than what you were scheduled. 

Usually when we see each other in the break room we are always asking each other what our shifts are. I notice most of the time he has like a 5 hour shift. So I just casually asked if he only gets the minimum of 25 hours. He said sometimes that is the case and sometimes more, but lately its been only 25. So I asked him if he worked anywhere else for more hours and he said no, he didn't feel the need to work elsewhere.

I immediately went into judgemental (and nosy) mode. My thoughts were something like: What do you mean, you don't need more hours? How do you pay your bills, feed yourself on 25 hours a week? How is that even possible? He must have no ambitions in life if he is happy living on what he makes from 25 hours a week. He must be crazy. Etc etc. 

It turned me off a bit. I mean I still think he is cute, but I no longer am in the I-want-to-get-to-know-you-and-hopefully-you'll-ask-me-out mode. Isn't that crazy? I mean, am I being a total bitch here or would you be wondering the same things I had going through my head? And where do you draw the line between being judgemental and not being willing to settle? I remember there was this really popular post and I can't remember what blog it was, but the girl broke up with a guy because he didn't have a degree. It got a LOT of comments. Some people felt she was being judgemental while others applauded her for not settling with someone who didn't share the same values. Obviously this is not the same situation here, but the point is that one little comment turned me off almost completely. 

Where do we draw the line? What do you guys think? Have you ever been into someone and completely changed your outlook based on 1 thing they said or did? 


Morning Noon Evening said...

I think it' okay to be skeptical and feel like your attraction to him has waned because of his hours. It's important to follow your instincts! You know what you want in a mate - a go-getter with ambition! That's not a bad thing!

The Asian Pear said...

no. I totally hear ya.

I went out a few times and I wanted to like him but something held me back. And it was the fact that he was just so satisfied with where he was that irked me. I'm not wanting a super ambitious guy either but it was his whole laissez-faire attitude.

~Carla~ said...

Hmm... I think he probably just has different priorities than you do, and that's ok. If you don't think that makes him a good "catch" anymore, than that's your opinion and feelings, nothing wrong with that either! :) But I guess in the end i'd wonder if you are perhaps "missing" something by judging without really knowing WHY he doesn't feel the need for extra hours.... to each their own. ;)